Presidential Spandex

Laura Bush and Nancy Reagan were rushed to a secure bunker. Dick Cheney was evacuated to a secret location in accordance with the emergency plan for attacks on Washington. Congress and the Supreme Court halted the business of government in order to avoid becoming attack victims. Who knew if the small plane heading for our nation’s capital was carrying an Al Qaeda nuclear bomb or some dreaded chemical or biological weapon of mass destruction?

Jets were scrambled to defend America. Was this to be the first strike in an attempt to repeat or exceed the havoc of 9/11? Would the War Room be thrust into action with the Commander-in-Chief heroically assuming command? Surely there would be no repeat of the "President as deer in the headlights" footage from "Fahrenheit 9/11", with the President continuing to read to the grade school children after being informed of the ongoing attack. Of course not. We learned from 9/11 how to handle such attacks. New, secret protocols are in place.

Though the protocols are secret, we now know what the number one priority is. Do not interrupt the President to inform him, unless he is personally in danger. The hell with Laura, Nancy Reagan, Dick, Congress, the Supreme Court and the rest of America, let "Numero Uno" finish his bike ride in the Patuxent Wildlife Research Reserve without being disturbed.

Though the President has been silent and the White House Press Secretary has been trying to play the matter down, if there is a next time, the protocols may have been modified by then and we may later see footage of our fearless Commander pedaling into the War Room in his Presidential spandex to personally take charge of our national defense.