Confession

As a student in Catholic grade and high schools, the first Friday of the month was a day we were all expected to receive Holy Communion. In order to do so, we had to be morally clean, so the afternoon before, we would be taken to Church to have our confessions heard, and if we were careful enough, we could avoid sinning that evening and still be good for Communion in the morning.

I liked Confession. I wanted to be a good person, and when I did bad things I felt bad, because the bad things I did usually hurt other people and always hurt God and made him sad. The ritualistic dialogue with the priest in the dark of the box was not particularly meaningful to me. In those days they never did much counseling; they just listened to your sins, asked “how many times” and then pronounced your sentence of how many prayers to say. The most meaningful part of the process for me was not the secret meeting in the confessional; it was the very private time between me and God, examining my conscience in silence before getting in line to enter the box, and then going to the altar rail to quickly get my sentence out of the way so I could spend extra time telling Jesus that I really would try harder to be good.

In grade school, the girls lined up on one side of the box and the boys on the other, and the priest alernated in hearing the sides. When a boy entered the box, the priest would be hearing the confession of the girl on the other side. You were supposed to avoid trying to hear the girl, but even if you tried, all you could hear was muffled mumbling. The girls who spent the most time in the confessional were supposed to be the ones out for a good time. Timing female confessions did not seem like the best way for a young man to prepare for his own confession, but I admit I gave it a try a couple times. It was quite disappointing when the least attractive girl took the most time, and I felt unworthy when I realized the girl I was most attracted to would be shocked to think that I would time her confession.

I have no particular memories of high school confessions. While the Holy Names nuns at Immaculate grade school inspired me with their religious devotion, the Irish Christian Brothers at O'Dea had the opposite effect. By the time I graduated from O'Dea, religion seemed to be graduating away from me. Another reason high school confessions were not memorable to me may be that O’Dea was an all boys school, and I was quite uninterested in the sins of other boys.

Since I am no longer a practicing Catholic, I have not been to confession for many years, but I do have a small confession to make here. My confession is that writing for Sense has become sort of a nagging burden. I suppose that has been apparent, since my postings have waned. This posting is my examination of conscience, confession and firm purpose of amendment.

After Bush was unjustly handed the Presidency in 2000, my political interest skyrocketed. Having just retired, I had time to indulge the interest. Those close to me were exposed to my ongoing discourse, including e-mail dialogue with John in Phoenix. As the 2004 campaign heated up, John suggested I publish some of my writings, and this blog ensued. Blogs were new to many of us in 2004 and the election interest was quite high, so those early days of Sense saw several readers offing comments and dialogue. Since then, this blog has joined most amateur blogs in having an average dedicated readership of one [our man John in Phoenix] and a part time readership of a few family members.

“Common sense thoughts on life and current affairs by a Seattle area sexagenarian, drawing on personal experience, years of learning as a counselor to thousands of families and an innate passion for philosophical knowledge, to uniquely express sensible, thoughtful, honest and fresh views.” So says the preamble at Sense from Seattle. Keeping up with current affairs has proven to be an overwhelming task, with notes for possible Sense comments accumulating into huge folders. Thoughts on life in general have been shortchanged here, for fear of boring readers; yet the limited readership of friends and family are the people most likely to have a mild interest. Passion, sense, thoughtfulness and honesty are usually present in my postings here, and sometimes they are fresh, but personal learning from experience has mostly been absent.

Researching for a political blog and providing useful and reliable links takes time, and I confess I have become weary. Keeping informed on current affairs and developing my opinion is a vital part of who I am, but it is very time consuming and does not leave much time for expression and action. There also seems less need for political voices like mine now than there was before the 2004 election. Public opinion has changed for the better since then, with the Bush administration largely discredited and the Democrats put back in control of Congress in the 2006 elections. The 2008 election is still of vital interest with the Democrats having a chance to hold Congress and take the Presidency, so opinions on that must be given time.

I will try to spend less time at Sense on semi-pro political blogging, and more time writing about my sense of current events based on my own life experiences and observations. I hope to do this in a way that is more witty, fun and entertaining than Sense has usually been.